DIY: Bitch Repellant

Here's the how-to:

Step 1: Empty the contents of a spray bottle you have laying around the house.

***Select size accordingly. If you're going to be dealing with a real Bitch with a capital B, go large. If you're going to be dealing with somebody who just woke up on the wrong side of the bed, try a smaller bottle.

Step 2: Fill with water

Step 3: Wait for the Bitch to approach you. If you approach and/or provoke her, you will automatically be the bitch & then have to use it on yourself & that will really make you look foolish. 

Step 4: Allow the Bitch to make his or her first attack. Immediately after, spray Bitch Repellent directly in the face, aiming for the nose. 

Step 5: RUN.